Crazy Wedding
by da Panda
Summary: After the second quest, Kairi fears of Sora parting from her to abuse more heartless. But, they decide to plan a wedding, but chaos comes. Sora cursed with stupidity, Leon a rapper, Maleficent the goth kid, Imps, and more. How bad could it be? ...noflame
1. Oh no, what to do?

Hey, it's me again! How's it going? This is my very first Kingdom Hearts story. I'm so excited! This is a really funny story, trust me, you'll love! And if you don't…I dunno...There are some jokes in here about the classic "It's A wondeful life", so, if you like that movie, you'll get the jokes...

**Crazy wedding**

**Chapter 1: Oh no, what to do?**

Sora and Kairi were both sitting on the large tree branch they usually sat on with Riku. But, Riku was still asleep and was too tired to get out of bed.

Sora looked at Kairi, Kairi looked at Sora. They were happy they were together again…yay…we're all happy, happy…happy…

"What if I go out on a mission to abuse more heartless?" Sora suddenly exclaimed to the red-head. With no hesitation, Kairi got out a paper fan and smacked the half-clueless keyblade wielder.

"Fool, we're not parting from eachother ever again!"

"Yeah, but what if—"

"Shut up or you'll be thrown into the ocean and zombies from the water will gobble you up like a pathetic expired ham sandwich!"

"O…K…"

Kairi started sobbing like a constipated baby.

"I DON'T WANT US TO SEPARATE EVER AGAIN!!!"

"Kairi…take it easy…I was just wondering what would happen to us…"

"No, I won't manage this 'but what if' recipe anymore! I've got to try a different recipe for a change! A friendship recipe! Maybe some chocolate-chip cookies, or some éclairs or pie or cake, that sounds yummy!"

"Cake…cake…cake…cake…cake…cake…cake…" Sora kept repeating to himself.

"Yes, cake, just like in birthday parties and weddings!!"

_Sora…hello! She said something important there!!!_

"Gah, who are you?"

_I'm your guardian angel; I know everything about you…_

"If you're looking for George Bailey, I'm not him!"

_No, I had to deal with him back in the forties…geez…_

"Anyways, what was the important word that she said?"

_You idiot, you're so stupid. Fine, I'll give you a hint…party…_

"Mt. Rushmore!"

_My goodness…church…_

"Kamehameha!"

"Sora, why are you talking to yourself?" Kairi waved her hand in front of Sora's oblivious face.

_Drunk men and women doing dancing contests and eventually falling on the floor from spinning around in a bunch of circles!_

"The rest is still unwritten!"

_WEDDING YOU IDIOT! THAT WAS MY SEVEN THOUSANTH CLUE! MY GOSH, IT DIDN'T TAKE **THAT** LONG TO MAKE GEORGE BAILEY REALIZE WHAT A WONDERFUL LIFE HE HAS!!!!!!!_

"Sora, snap out of it!"

"Whaaaagh, no more buffalo winged chicks for me!!"

"Don't you mean that oldie buffalo girls song?"

"Whatever…oh, that's right! Thatta boy, Clarence!"

"What are you trying to talk about?"

"Kairi, let's get married!"

"EH?"

"We'll never be apart; we can get married, so we'll always be together no matter what!"

"Oh…Sora…I accept!"

"Accept what?"

"Marriage, duh!"

"Really…yes! I thought you would completely disagree with me!"

"I don't even think you were even thinking about it!"

"Thinking about what?"

"My gosh…okay, we need to pick out wedding dress."

"Wedding dress."

"Find a nice cake."

"Nice Cake."

"Figure out where we're going to get married in"

"Wait a minute, we're getting married?"

Kairi slapped her hand on her forehead and sighed.

_Remind yourself Kairi, life wouldn't be great without Sora around…_

"So what do we need to get married?" Sora came up while his stupid question ruined Kairi's happy smile.

"Sora…I won't repeat any of them!"

"But, I want to know the materials for us getting married!!"

Just when Sora said married, Riku came out and shocked by the word, he fell into the water and some coconuts fell on top of him.

"Is there anything weirder today besides guardian angels, buffalo winged crickets and marriage?!"

Kairi just rolled her eyes and lightly kissed Sora on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow, fiancé!"

Sora just had a nosebleed…

PLZ REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Envy, eh?

Hope you like chappy 2 everyone!

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 2: Envy, eh?**

The next day, Sora woke up to find himself on the floor. For some reason he wrote wedding and fiancée all over his walls. What happened before he went to bed?

Then, there was a few gentle knocks on his door. He was startled, but went over to see who it was. It was his pal Riku. For some strange reason, his head was covered up in bandages and had band-aids all over him covering scrapes and scratches.

"Dude, what happened to you?"

"What happened to me…WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?! YESTERDAY WAS TOTALLY WEIRD!! FIRST, I GET CHAINED TO MY BED BY THIS ONE LITTLE GIRL WHO NOBODY KNOWS, THEN I BURN MY WAFFLES, AFTER THAT I THREW UP SEEING THE LITTLE GIRL HANGING PICTURES OF MEN WEARING SPEEDOS IN MY BATHROOM, WHEN I CAME OUTSIDE FOR FRESH AIR, I HEARD YOU AND KAIRI ARE GETTING MARRIED! A BUNCH OF COCONUTS LANDED ON ME AND I PRACTICALLY DROWNED! I WOKE UP TO FIND MYSELF STUCK TO A COLD HOSPITAL BED, WEARING A BIKINI! AFTER I GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, A CRAB PINCHED MY TOE AND I ENDED UP FALLING OFF OF A CLIFF. I WOKE UP AGAIN TO FIND MYSELF IN THE SAME EXACT HOSPITAL, EXCEPT I WAS WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAID "Your mom…" ON IT!!! I WENT BACK HERE AND I OPENED THE DOOR TO SEE AN UNARTISTIC DRAWING OF LEON WEARING A POLKA DOTTED DRESS! WHAT I'M SAYING IS **MY LIFE GETS MORE PAINFUL AND WEIRD!!!**"

Sora just stared at Riku for a long period of time.

"Why the heck would a little toddler girl want to hang up pictures of men wearing speedos in your bathroom?"

"No idea, that's why I came running to you, since you have faced pretty strange things in your life!!!"

"How dare you say my life is strange! At least a little girl doesn't hang up pictures of men in tight speedos in my house!"

Kairi overheard what Sora had said and fainted.

"Oops…"

"Kairi, are you okay?" Riku rushed over to help the 15 year old up.

"I'm fine, really…"

_**Hey, Sora!**_

"Gah, who said that?"

_**I'm your guardian imp! Duh, you idiot!**_

"I have a guardian imp; I thought I just had a guardian angel…"

_**Blah, who cares about the dumb old guardian angel dude? Look, remember when you were four and you used to watch those freaky cartoons where the angel dude and the devil dude would appear on a character's shoulder?**_

"Yeah…"

_**Well, I'm the devilish dude…**_

"NOO, LEAVE ME ALONE YOU CREEP!"

_**Dude, I'm only trying to help you here!!**_

"Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!"

_**Look buddy, listen to me or I'll take a random twig and stuff it up your butt, do you want to have a tail buddy boy?**_

Sora shook his head with tears in his eyes, he was scared…

_**Good…okay then, look at Riku. He's trying to help her up…**_

"No, they're talking right now!"

_**Then let's rewind!!!**_

The guardian imp took out a remote control and started to rewind to the part where Riku was reaching for Kairi's hand. The imp paused it there.

_**Okay, we're going to play a—**_

"Whoa cool! Are you that dude in the movie 'click'?"

_**WHY DO YOU ASK SUCH A STUPID QUESTION?!**_

"Because you remind me of the dude…sorry, I was just wondering…"

_**Can I continue now before I get a tiny pickle jar and put you in it so you can suffocate?**_

Sora nodded his non-sympathetic head.

_**Good, now Sora, we're going to play a little game here…**_

Sora's face lightened up immediately. "A game, really, really, really? I love games, they're fun!"

_**O…K…look, all you have to do is say on top of your lungs 'SHE'S MY GIRL, NOT YOURS SUCKER!!!' got it?**_

"That doesn't sound like a fun game at all!"

_**Well it will be if you JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!**_

But Sora grabbed the imp's remote and pressed play. Riku helped Kairi up and they started talking to each other.

"So are you and Sora really getting married?"

"That's right, so we'll never separate ever again -!"

"But what about me, I need to be loved!!"

Sora walked over to see the two laughing.

"Let's go inside my house so Riku can have a better day…"

"Then we can go around in the gummi ship to tell everyone the great news!"

"Good idea!" Riku said happily.

"Alrighty Dighty, let's eat and find some brides' maids and the best man!!"

END CHAPTER 2…

Review for me plz!!! -


	3. Traveling Time!

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 3: Traveling Time!!**

After a big hot meal that Sora made with a mixture of gravy, boats, goat milk, rabbit pellets, antelope wastes and grapes, Sora, Kairi, and Riku all got into the gummi ship and took off in a flash. Riku was driving, while the engaged couple sat in the back seats.

"Are we there yet?" Sora asked bluntly.

"Nope, not yet…" Riku replied, which they just left their island.

"How about now?"

"No…"

"How about now?"

"No…"

Kairi rubbed her forehead gently and got out her pink ipod nano and listened to "The Who". She listened to some of their classic songs while Sora asked the same question over and over again every two seconds.

"How about now…"

"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP ALREADY!!!" Riku shouted very loudly. He shouted so loud that the pine scent fell off of the super Gummi mirror.

"You dropped the…"

"Pick it up, Sora…"

Kairi had no clue what was going on. Instead, she took out a remote control and a flat screen TV came down from the ceiling. Just in time for the new episode of CSI! The theme song played, also by "The Who", and Kairi sang along, turning down her ipod nano. Riku and Sora kept arguing about the travel while Kairi watched a lady's leg get cut off.

"Guys, shut up! I think Jeff killed Maria!"

Riku and Sora stared at Kairi, who was watching some CSI person take out Maria's intestines. Sora looked disgusted and changed the channel to Nick Jr.

Blue's Clues was on!

"Yes, I love this show! Oh, this is the episode how to cool yourself if you're frustrated! Let's see if I remember the steps…oh yeah, I remember! Stop…breathe…and think!"

"Hey, they were about to solve the crime! Maybe it was a suicide!"

Riku sighed and got out his green ipod nano and listened to Greenday.

"If we're getting married, we can't fight every stinking day! Riku, which TV program is better? CSI: or Blue's Clues?"

"I couldn't care less…" Was Riku's reply…

"Wait, Kairi, we're getting married!!!???"

"Guys, shut up already! I'm trying to listen to "When September ends"…"

"So, you're telling **ME** to be quiet! Just great, Riku!" Kairi pouted. Now Kairi and Riku were the ones fighting. Sora grabbed his blue ipod nano and listened to his favorite song, Barbie girl. After a long two hours, the group of teenagers reached their destination at last.

"Hey, look, there's Hollow Bastion, or Radiant Garden, whatever that place is called!" Sora looked out his side of the window.

"Finally, I thought I would lose my voice for good!" Kairi said looking out her side of the window.

"Why were you about to lose your voice?" Sora asked. He was very oblivious now. I guess, the loud "Aqua" music was blasting through not only his ears, but also his brain.

"Land, here we come!" Riku flew down the gummi ship onto the world. Once they landed, they looked around at Radiant Garden/Hollow Bastion.

"This place is really cleaned up…" Sora looked around to see once scattered materials gone or organized.

"I guess we won't be needing this background music anymore…" Riku grabbed behind a box and turned off a small CD player that was playing Hollow Bastion's main theme music. Everything was now silent. The three teens walked towards Merlin's house. They kept walking until a huge heartless came in front of them!

"Eeew, it's so gross looking!" Kairi squealed as she jumped on Sora's head in fear.

"Time to fight!" Riku said getting out a random stick. But, Yuffie Kisaragi popped out of the heartless's mouth. The three screamed like scared dinosaurs, but Yuffie was laughing and grinning widely.

"Yuffie, the heartless ate you alive!" Sora screamed. Kairi and Riku got out baseball bats and clobbered him.

"Idiot, Yuffie scared us to think that heartless were still roaming around Hollow Bastion!" Kairi said.

"Heehee, I got you guys good too! I have something else that'll crack me up hysterically!"

"Whatever you are planning next…it won't be funny for me…"

"Come on, Donald, Goofy and everybody else are waiting at Merlin's place! Here, I'll show my next idea for myself to laugh!" Yuffie went over to a garage and opened the door; it slowly rose as the scary music from "Jaws" played.

"Sora, turn the song off your ipod!" Kairi grabbed the ipod nano and stopped the song from playing any longer.

The three turned to see what Yuffie turned on. The three dropped their jaws.

"Are we really going to ride that?" Sora asked excitedly.

"Nope, you get to ride this, even though it's falling apart. Sorry, you guys don't even have a drivers' license yet…"

"DRIVERS' LISENCE!!!!????"

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 4…

Review 4 me plz, thanks!!


	4. Weird language and They broke up!

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 4: Weird language and "they broke up?!"**

"I wonder how Sora is doing…" Aerith worried. Merlin gave her a cup of green tea.

"I'm sure he's all right. He's probably getting along with Kairi…if you know what I mean…"

Aerith just walked over next to her beloved spiky haired Cloud.

"Cloud, Merlin is scaring me…again…"

"Merlin, she's my babe, don't even think about it…"

Merlin, Aerith and Cloud were all startled by a strange buzzing noise from outside. Cloud stepped forward, because that sound sounded strangely familiar…

"Hey, is that…?"

Yuffie crashed the front door by riding Cloud's motorcycle. She made it stop by crashing into the computer and breaking the wall from the bathroom. Cid was taking a shower, screamed then fainted when Yuffie entered with the motorcycle.

"AHHHH, MY BABY IS HURT!" Cloud rushed over to the now scratched and dusty transportation item.

"Hey, I thought **_I _**was your baby!!!" Aerith said angrily.

"Can we come in now?" Kairi questioned from the outside. Yuffie turned around and nodded. Sora, Kairi and Riku came inside in a small red wagon with rusty wheels. As soon as the wagon came to a halt, the wheels fell apart.

"Why couldn't we ride in the limo?" Sora cried.

"Dude, it's a motorcycle…" Riku replied, annoyed by how clueless Sora was.

"My honey is injured!!! Call 911 immediately! Don't worry, I'll sing you "Secret Lovers" every night like Kelly Clarkson and I'll get you that PS3 you always wanted."

"Kelly Clarkson doesn't sing that song! You sing that song to me every night and you promised to get me a PS3! But no, I get a Nintendo!" Aerith clenched her teeth.

"I thought it was a Wii."

"No, smart one!" Aerith and Cloud glared at each other as Cloud polished his scratched beauty.

"Why couldn't we ride in the Corvette?"

"Sora, it's a motorcycle!" Riku shouted.

"I don't think they make corvettes in Radiant Garden anymore. They try to continue making minis, but unfortunately, we still can't get the right parts. All we have is Egg shells." Yuffie said, trying to change the subject. Everyone stopped pulling each others hair and looked at Yuffie.

"Egg shells? Aren't those the hard white thingies that come out of an elephant's cheeks?" Sora asked.

"Those are tusks! Egg shells are shells of an egg!" Kairi slapped the teenager male with her trusty paper fan. Sora just wept in a corner, the pain on his face still stinging and burning mildly.

"HETYHGTUWHRUIGHWUI4!" Sora exclaimed from the corner.

"He's speaking Soraian." Riku sighed.

"Soraian?" Cloud laughed, making tears appear in his eyes from laughing so much.

"Yes, his own language when he goes berserk in pain."

"What is he saying?" Yuffie asked. (While Yuffie said this, she now realized that Merlin was trapped in the 100 acre wood book, being beaten up by Tigger who kept bouncing his muscular tail on him…)

"He's saying- Let's eat cherry pie. I have a cousin Larry. My science teacher's real name is Terrance (1)."

Kairi smacked Sora again, who stopped his berserk language, and stared at the group.

"Where's Donald and Goofy?"

"They're with Leon and Tifa in the lab. They're messing with the computer…again…" Aerith replied.

"What do you mean, again?" Cloud asked.

"Don't you glare at me like that!"

"Then shut up!"

"Fine!"

"Fine with me too!"

The two face away, they broke up. Two seconds later…

"Did you see "American Idol" last night?" Cloud asked.

"Yes, that lady was A-W-F-U-L!"

The two giggled as Yuffie grabbed a rope and tied it to the dead dusty wagon and put Sora, Riku and Kairi in it. Yuffie started machine and rode, and Cloud stopped laughing about a man who dressed as a clown with a Jacuzzi.

"Hey, darling come back!" The motorcycle, everyone could swear, had an oil leak tear once it went away into the Radiant Garden distance.

**REVIEW PLZ - - -!!!!**


	5. Secrets of Squall! Part 1

**_Guess what? _**If you noticed the 1 where Sora is speaking Soraian? I forgot to mention it!!! My science teacher, Mr. Kelly, calls himself by his middle name, Chris. But he told our class that his first name is Terrance. LOL!

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 5: Secrets of Squall! Part I**

Yuffie drove away, steering Cloud's motorcycle as she crashed into the once organized boxes. They scattered and landed in the same exact places they were before they were cleaned up.

"Shouldn't you pick that stuff up? My mommy used to say that littering is bad for the environment!" Sora exclaimed, still wishing he could go on the motorcycle. Or, what he thought was a P.T cruiser.

"Awww, shut up. What's a little trash?" Yuffie replied smiling. But Yuffie was wrong about the word little. If you would find "little" in the dictionary, it would mean small or petit/petite. But, there were flames and collisions everywhere Yuffie and the gang passed by.

"You're driving skills suck." Riku sighed unpleasantly.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Yuffie slapped the older teen.

"Aren't the flames beautiful?" He changed the subject. Yuffie rolled her eyes and put the motorcycle on max power.

"This is ludicrous speed!!!!!" Kairi screamed, clinging on to her beloved precious thing in the world. Not Sora, but her nano.

"We're almost there!"

Sparks flew from the wheel-less wagon and as soon as they took a halt at the postern, the wagon flew and the rope snapped. The three screamed as they landed through the roof and into a pile of rubble. After a few seconds, Yuffie came in with a parachute.

"Did I forget to give you parachutes?"

"No, look how safely we have landed!!!" Riku shouted sarcastically.

"Whatever…what's that sound?" Everyone heard what Yuffie was hearing…music?

"Sounds like hip hop…" Kairi said, getting her leg out of gray mush.

"Like bunnies! I love cuddly bunnies!" Sora smiled and hugged himself, trying to feel the soft fuzziness of cuddly bunnies.

"I wouldn't think bunnies would cuddle with you…" Riku walked past Sora and laughed.

Everyone left the dead objects in the pile of rubble and walked closer to the music and where it was coming from. They soon stopped when they saw Leon, Tifa, Donald, and Goofy…dancing…Goofy stepped up a microphone and turned it on.

"This is Leo Dawg with "It's all about Leo Dawg…"" Music began to play and Leon grabbed the microphone. He wore a bunch of chains around his neck that had the letter L. He had his hat to the side and had jeans so low that the belt was at his ankles.

"Begin rapping, Leo Dawg!" Tifa said in the microphone, almost singing.

"_My name is Leo Dawg!_

_I can get through any fog!_

_You see me with the gun blade!_

_I came here to save the dang day!_

_I live in Radiant Garden!_

_Even though the name's kind of retarded!_

_I want it to be called "Leo's World!'_

_I'll make your life twisty and twirled!"_

(What do you think of Twisty and Twirled?)

Kairi- Sounds like a curling iron…

Yuffie- Sounds like an amusement park ride…

Riku- Sounds like a black hole…

Sora- Sounds like trotting horses...wait what?

"_The bad heartless used to roam!_

_But now I made it home sweet home!_

_This computer belongs to me!_

_I usually call it my sweet pea!"_

(What do you think of Sweet Pea?)

Kairi- Sounds like a bubble bath aroma…

Yuffie- Sounds like farmers…

Riku- Sounds like soup…

Sora- Sounds like beavers…

"_There were also nobodies!_

_I think they used to live in teepees!_

_Don't you know what I mean?_

_Because I'm ruling this world, I'm the king and queen!"_

(What do you think of king and queen?)

Kairi- Sounds like a palace…

Yuffie- Sounds like boring royal parties…

Riku- Sounds like me…

Sora- Sounds like Aurora Borealis…

"_Leo Dawg!_

_Leo Dawg!_

_Leo Dawg!_

_Leo Dawg!!!!"_

"Leo Dawg the man!" Sora jumped in singing.

"_Leo-Leo-Leo-Leo-SORA????!!!!"_

Goofy, Donald, Leon and Tifa all stopped dancing and jamming once they saw the four in their foot steps.

"It's not how it looks…" Leon hid the microphone behind his back and pulled up his pants to normal height. He accidentally dropped the microphone, making a loud screeching noise and making Sora fall to the ground thinking about asparagus…or whatever he thought when you said microphone…

**To be continued in chapter 6!!!!!**

**PLZ REVIEW!**


	6. Secrets of Squall! Part 2

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 6: Secrets of Squall! Part II**

It took approximately one hour to get Sora to awaken. After a while, Yuffie stuck a root beer lollipop up his left nostril to make him wake up. He didn't like crappy flavored lollipops, especially root beer flavor!

"YOU MURDERERS!" He shouted as he sniffed the aroma.

"Dude, we need you to be alive for you to get married." Riku sighed and rolled his eyes underneath his silvery bangs.

"Wait a sec, who's getting married?"

"Who's getting married?" Leon, Donald, Goofy and Tifa asked at the same time.

"Me and Sora…" Kairi tried to smile happily, but her patience was not sparking a light.

"We're trying to decide our best man. But, unfortunately, we don't know who. It can't be Cloud; he's too busy dating with his motorcycle. And not you anymore because you wear your pants too low. Mr. Cheran of pandagirl-sama's social studies would definitely sue you…"

(**A/N **lol! Mr. Cheran hates "sagging"!)

"Hey, it's not my fault…Tifa made me do it." He pointed at Tifa.

"Excuse me! I think this rapping idea was all you! You got me this tight belly dancing outfit. Nu-uh. I ain't wearing it anymore! I'd rather go shopping at cheap stores than you forcing me to wear whatever you pick out! One word in your mind! Risqué…!"

"Donald…Goofy…what about you guys?" Sora asked, realizing he was the groom.

"Gawrsh Sora…it's all so sudden…"

"Yeah Sora! We need to continue making Leo Dawg albums…I mean, have royal affairs with the king!"

"How about we use the computer and look at different worlds to see who might accept." Kairi got out a light bulb and put it above her head.

"What are you Kairi, a police car? Or a strawberry parfait…?" Sora asked bluntly.

"Imbecile…" Was all she said before typing "Best Man" on google…wait, the screen wasn't turned on. Leon looked from deciding Tifa's outfit to the screen of the gigantic computer.

"No don't turn that on!!"

Kairi pressed the screen button to find pictures of girls in swimsuits all over his screen. Was one of them Tifa? Tifa slapped Leon and kept slapping him for almost six minutes until her hand was sore.

"Where did you find that picture?" Tifa glared at Leo Dawg.

"The 100 acre wood book!" Leon exclaimed.

"Who had it?"

"It was in Rabbit's garden…in the wheel barrow…"

"Why was it in there?"

"I don't know…"

"You're lying, I can feel it…" Tifa was about to punch Leon until he admitted it.

"I sold it to them so I can get this ring!" Leon held up a ring that had the sign of the Leo. Tifa threw Leon down to the floor and sighed.

"Why do I exist again?"

"To impress the men!" Sora smiled. Tifa turned around, with flaming eyes, and strangled Sora and took away his nano.

"What songs do you have here…? Don't you have Evanescence? I love their new album…Barbie Girl…Hamster dance…the sounds of birds chirping, what's that?" Tifa pressed play on the song.

"_Chirp…that was a robin…"_

"You have educational songs on your nano…my lord, you're lame…"

"But, I love birdie birds! They go tweet! And they fly!"

"Penguins and ostriches don't fly…" Kairi exclaimed, exiting Leon's main screen into google.

"If you believe in them and your heart and soul…yes they can!" Sora wept.

"They still can't fly though, no matter how cheesy you get." Riku rolled his eyes again.

"I got it!" Kairi smiled.

"You got it, girlfriend!" Sora spoke in a girly accent.

"Um…anyway…think of a world who would have such a cool person to be a best man. He's nice…fights…and has a fan club…who comes to mind?"

"Britney Spears!" Sora shouted.

"BEST MAN, DOOFUS!"

"It's obvious, fart…it can only be the one and only Captain Jack Sparrow of Port Royal…" Riku said.

"No way, it's the other Jack! Jack Skellington of Halloween Town!" Yuffie disagreed.

"They're both wrong! It's so the Beast of Beast's Castle!" Tifa disagreed with the other two.

"Jessica Simpson!"

"YOU GUYS! THINK! HE'S THE MOST POPULAR DUDE!"

"Don't you mean Auron…?" Cloud and Aerith appeared from the shadows. They did not look happy. Especially Cloud, who had his sword in his hand and ready to thrash it around.

"Where is my PS3?"

"PS3???!!!"

"My baby…is dead. I will never forgive you!" Cloud screamed on his knees.

"He's so not the best man…" Kairi thought to herself.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

That chapter may seem shorter, but the next one will be longer 


	7. What you can find in a storage room!

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 7: What you can find in a storage room!**

"Bring me the dang PS3 before I flood the whole place with my salty tears of death!"

Aerith- "Salty…"

Riku- "Tears…"

Kairi- "Of…"

Tifa- "Death…?"

"Donald, Goofy, let's go find the PS3 before Cloud wets his pants!" Sora ran into a random door to a storage room.

"The point of a door is to open them and close them, not to run into them!" Donald sweatdropped. Goofy just laughed and went in the storage room. There were a lot of boxes that were labeled in duct tape. "Comic Books", "Magazines", "Baby Pictures"…"Baby Pictures"?! Goofy had an evil smile on his face when something pinched his pinky finger.

"Ouch! Gawrsh Jiminy, I wasn't going to blackmail anyone…"

"I know that look in your eyes when I see them, you were going to!" Jiminy popped out of Goofy's glove. Goofy sighed and flicked Jiminy cricket into a box of tennis balls.

"Does that box say baby pictures on it?" Aerith peeked in the storage room.

"Yeah, let's take a look at them!" Goofy smiled and grabbed the box from its place. The cardboard box was a little bit dusty, but Yuffie blew it off with one single blow. Even though some spit landed on it, making Yuffie the person opening it so no one would be disgusted…

"Sora, wake up! There are baby pictures!" Kairi slapped Sora's cheeks. Sora's eyes flew open and ran to the crowd where everyone else was.

"OMG! Is this really Cloud?" Aerith squealed in cuteness. But in her pupils people could read _"I shall go on the internet tonight and e-mail all my friends and make them see this precious picture of Cloud and they'll be rolling on the floor laughing so hard and next time Cloud will hear from my forum buddies they will just laugh and crack up hysterically…"_

In the picture, Cloud was in a diaper and was sucking on a blueish-green pacifier. He still had the blonde spiky hair that was as big as a football stadium. And in his hands, was a toy sword.

"Aww, even baby Cloud loves swords!" Tifa giggled. Cloud felt humiliated then found a picture that was also stamped "Blackmail" all over it.

"Is this Aerith here?" He smiled and chuckled. Everyone else smiled and laughed so hard, except Aerith of course, when they saw a short-haired brunette squeezing a teddy bear with a pink ribbon around its neck. She wore a pink dress and had the same emerald eyes. But, the emeralds looked cuter in baby form.

"Aerith's is too cute; she's not blackmail after all!" Yuffie giggled happily. Aerith did a sigh of relief and Cloud mumbled a swear word.

"I found another one!" Kairi held up a picture of a brunette baby. He had a small scar on his face and wore a black diaper with a black leather jacket.

"It's Leon…!" Tifa laughed on the ground.

"I still look the same…" Leon sweatdropped, hoping he was invisible.

"I don't blame you Leon, look at Tifa's!" Yuffie held up a picture of a dark brunette haired baby. She wore her outfit she wore in the game FFVII. But, it looked the right size and not tight at all.

"Like I had any other appropriate clothes!" Tifa pouted.

"So that's why they were so tight…" Cloud hid his snorting laugh and just did a slight chuckle again.

"Shut up Cloud you perv!" Tifa smacked the sword-lover.

"I found mine!" Yuffie smiled, not embarrassed or angry like everyone else. She was cute in hers. But, she had a bunch of shuriken stuck in walls and all over the floor.

"That's part one, here's part two!" Yuffie said still smiling. The second picture was baby Yuffie crying with a shuriken cut on her hand. Everyone laughed.

"Good thing I brought my wallet!" Kairi smiled. She opened it up to find three pictures. There was a red-headed baby who wore a purple dress and had a paupu fruit plush in her arms. The second one showed a silver-haired infant who had a yellow diaper on and held some sort of action figure. And the third was a brunette baby who was holding a rubber chicken and eating a corn muffin.

"Sora…you're even weird as an infant…" Donald held in his laugh looking at Kairi's third picture.

"Why, I loooovvvveee corn muffins!" Sora drooled over the food item.

"Is that all the baby pictures?" Aerith asked, saddened by the end of blackmail photos.

"There's one more here," Riku picked out a last picture in the box. He paused and was a little frightened. I take that back, a lot frightened…

"WHO IS THIS?!" In the picture was a baby with long ebony hair and pitch black eye shadow and had piercings on its lips and left eyebrow.

Riku was right with his question, who the bleep?

"It somewhat reminds me of—…" Aerith began.

"Simon Cowell!" Sora screamed, thinking he knew the right answer.

"IT'S A GIRL YOU FREAK!" Aerith smacked him with a random ping pong paddle.

"You were saying?" Tifa asked the panting Aerith.

"Oh, right…it reminds me of Maleficent…don't you think?" Everyone studied the picture and looked closely at the gothic baby. Maybe it was!

"Maleficent wins the blackmail competition! Second place, Cloud Strife! Third place, Sora!" Yuffie shouted with a random megaphone.

"Yay, third place rocks!" Sora danced around.

"Third place is pretty bad…" Riku sighed.

"You're just jealous! You're just jealous!" Sora chanted in the megaphone, snatching it out of Yuffie's grasp.

"Idiot…" Everyone rolled their eyes. They looked through the storage room to find more boxes that seemed interesting. One of them, a high school year book.

"Oooh, this ought to be good!" Tifa smiled evil-like. They flipped through dusty pages and found Cloud's picture. He looked the same, only with his original outfit.

They also found Yuffie, Aerith, Tifa, Sephiroth (Cloud put an X over him when he got the yearbook) and they also found a girl with a heart surrounding her picture.

"Who…is…this…?" Aerith and Cloud looked at the picture and the strange girl.

"That's Rinoa…she used to be in my geography class…I had a crush on her…" Leon blushed. (**A/N **Final Fantasy XIII joke)

"I'd say so…look at what she wrote on the last page…heh…heh…" Yuffie started giggling like crazy.

"You wouldn't dare read that out loud!" Leon snapped, blushing in anger and embarrassment. Yuffie did a few more chuckles then cleared her throat for all to hear.

"_My precious Squall! We will see each other soon! My sweet, you shall not fear! I will go to that dream college! And I will always use that Rosy Gleam shampoo to replenish my hair! Never be forgotten in me! Rinoa, your beloved sweetie…"_

"That's totally number one in blackmail!" Kairi laughed, almost tearing. Leon grabbed the year book and hid it in his jacket pocket.

"I don't think you'll see that page EVER AGAIN!!!!" He yelled.

"C'mon Squall, I mean Leon, we would never blackmail you!" Yuffie said, crossing her fingers behind her back.

"Whoa, I found a baseball card!" Sora searched through a random box. But, it was not a baseball card. The box, written on duct tape in smeary marker, read

"Crafts"

"That's not a baseball card you idiot, that's a piece of paper." Riku sighed in annoyance.

"Hey, we can use those materials to make invitations for our wedding, Sora!" Kairi smiled. "You're actually a genius for once, finding that box for your fiancée!"

Kairi giggled and kissed Sora on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"Because I'm your fiancée, duh…!"

"You are?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"SORA!!!"

"YOU NEED TO TELL ME THESE THINGS KAIRI!" Sora had a confused look on his face. Everyone just thought he was a complete idiot as they got out the materials to make the best invitations ever!

**Meanwhile with Maleficent…**

"Crap! Where did I put my baby pictures? If anyone sees them, they'll surely blackmail me!"

**Meanwhile with Auron…**

"What about me? Am I forgotten?"

_**TO BE CONTINUED!!**_

OMG! That has to be my favorite chapter so far! Next time is invitation work! And going to different worlds to spread the word! Hooray! Finally!

But, they must bribe them for their baby pictures! That's all the hints! See ya in the next chapter! Don't forget to review if you love it!


	8. You're invited?

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 8- You're invited! (If you can survive oblivion…)**

Everyone cut and pasted and made fancy invitations with the handy-dandy papers they found in the craft box. But, weren't they forgetting something?

"Hey, aren't we forgetting something?" Sora remembered, after pasting a picture of a mitten onto an invitation.

"You just copied that off of pandagirl-sama, didn't you?" Tifa groaned.

"Maybe…" Sora replied.

"But, Sora's right. Aren't we forgetting something?" Aerith stopped cutting a shape of a dragonfly.

"You stopped cutting the shape of a dragonfly…" Sora pointed at the paper, repeating what I had said. Everyone glared at Sora and got out their paper fans just incase.

"Well…I was going to do research on the computer for the best man…but we decided that it was Auron— GAH! WE FORGOT ABOUT AURON!!" Kairi finally remembered, dropping her folded pink card. It had a light tint to it, making it cheery and optimistic…

"You dropped the folded pink card. The pink has a light tint to it, making it cheery and optimis—optimist—"Sora struggled with the word optimistic. I came out if nowhere and pointed at the oblivious keyblade wielder.

"In your face, sucker!" I ran off, back to typing this random story.

"We should leave to Olympus and go tell him right away!" Kairi got up from her space on the cold, tiled floor and went to find the gummi ship.

"We can just e-mail him!" Yuffie got up and got out of the bikini wonderland screen. She clicked on AOL and she waited impatiently as it loaded.

"_Welcome, you got mail!" _The voice said from AOL.

"Who is that?" Sora questioned dumbly.

"The voice on AOL, duh." Riku smacked Sora with a paper fan.

"No one knows who he is…its unknown…" Leon and Cloud both said.

"I'm going to have nightmares now!" Sora started sniffling madly. Everything came to a halt once Kairi broke through the ceiling with the gummi ship.

"Hey, didn't I just say e-mail?" Yuffie scowled at Kairi, inside the gummi ship and trying to control the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry! It's just not so fun when you just e-mail people good news! Besides, many people in the worlds don't even know how to spell computer! I thought spreading the word in person would be more exciting!" Kairi pressed more buttons, causing the gummi ship to make her spin in circles upside down.

"Well, whatever! Be the old-fashioned girl you want to be!" Yuffie pouted.

"What was that?!"

"Um…never mind…"

"I guess it's true. It won't be much fun without saying the word in person…" Aerith smiled gently and sweetly.

"What word?"

"She means saying that you and Kairi are getting married, smart one!" Tifa sighed, preparing her own paper fan.

"Wait, we are?"

"YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!!!" Tifa yelled at Sora, making him scared to death.

"But…I didn't know…sniffle"

"Everyone just shut up and get in the gummi ship. We don't want to let everyone just stand around and have an empty wedding!" Donald glared in his regular annoying voice.

"Kairi, start that thing up!" Cloud ordered.

"Okay…I'll try to at least!" Kairi pressed many buttons, not starting the one to open the doors.

"_I like big butts and I cannot lie!"_

"NOOOOO! SHUT UP STUPID CD! WHO LISTENS TO THIS ANYWAY?" Kairi squealed, turning off the vulgar CD. Chip and Dale popped out of their bedroom, still in their pajamas, and looked astonished to see Kairi listening to their all time favorite CD.

"Crazy…" Aerith sighed. Riku nodded in agreement as they opened the doors themselves.

-----++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Leon drove, everyone else squished in the middle (besides Tifa who called shotgun), Leon didn't bother turning on the radio or listen to some rap, and he didn't want another Sora collision to occur at this moment.

"O84U82UTOI?" Riku was so squished; no one understood what he was saying. Lucky Sora and Goofy were at the sides and weren't squished as much.

"Sora! You need to guard your fiancée! I swear, if you don't help me out, I'll HWE; HVHNOUEHURHTGUIH!"

"What?"

"You heard me! I'll ERUHGEUVHRNBEHRIOH!"

"I don't understand, Kairi! And what about fiancées? Sounds to me that you're getting married to someone you loved for a long time!"

"IT'S YOU, IMBECILE!" Kairi nudged Sora, making him the most squished in the gummi ship.

"You know Kairi…what you need to do is get cheered up with a little another nudge song!" Sora tapped his feet slowly then began his song.

"**I'M SQUEEZED IN THE MIDDLE! SMACK-DABBED IN THE MIDDLE! I'M SQUEEZED IN THE MIDDLE! SMACK-DABBED IN THE MIDDLE!"**

"Isn't that from that cookie commercial?" Cloud rolled his eyes, forgetting to drink his patience soda today.

"It's true, my friend Mr. Strife!" Sora wept in the corner of the gummi ship.

"You're so annoying!" Cloud yelled back.

Aerith, Leon, Kairi, Yuffie, Riku, Donald, Goofy, Chip, Dale, and Tifa- _Not another Sora collision again…_

The two kept yelling and arguing until Leon turned around.

"GUYS, SHUT UP! WE'RE ALL HAPPY FAMILY IN HERE, GOT IT?!" Leon calmed himself, still facing the squished bunch. It was silent, as Leon stared at each and every one of them.

"The brady bunch…that's the way we became the brady—"Sora whispered singing.

"OH MY GOSH, WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?!" Leon yelled back.

"But the Brady bunch just—"

"Shut up…shut up!"

"Leon…" Kairi pointed at the wheel.

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" Leon turned to Kairi, who looked innocent as can be.

"No one's driving…" Everyone froze and turned to see a bunch of meteors.

"WHOA! WE'RE IN A GIANT TOILET!!" Sora laughed. A meteor hit the gummi ship and it fell towards Atlantica. The group screamed as they kept falling and falling (well, Sora kept going "wheeee!") and they landed and there was a huge splash!

"SPARE US, OH GREAT TOILET! DO NOT FLUSH US DOWN!" Were the last words Sora said before everyone transformed into ocean living creatures…

_**To be continued!**_

Next time Atlantica time! Big festival, and old and new worlds to come to! TCHAO!


	9. We gonna party all night long!

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 9- We gonna party all night long!**

Sora woke up to find himself lying in sand. He decided to cool himself of what his mother taught him.

_Take a deep breath and let it loose!_

_Gas?_

_Sora…carbon dioxide!_

_Of course mommy…_

He took a deep breath…water?

"GAH! WHAT THE HECK?!"

"Whoa, Sora. You look kind of hot when you're a merman…" Kairi giggled. She had a pink fin and pink bikini top and pink seashells in her hair.

"Kairi your foot loose!"

"You mean footless?"

"LOOSE FOOTLOOSE! KICK OFF YOUR SUNDAY SHOES! PLEASE LOUISE! THROW ME OFF OF MY FEET!"

"Stop singing songs already!"

"But this is the singing song land of songyness and singing and grooving and singy sing sang song!"

"…I didn't get a word of that sentence, but I'm making a guess that this world is obsessed with singing songs, am I correct?"

"Yeah…where's all of our home dawgs?"

"I dunno…"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" There was a scream, and it sounded a lot like Yuffie!

"Yuffie is in trouble! We have to help her!" Kairi tried to walk, but she realized that they were in the saltiness of H2O and couldn't walk.

"I don't have any freaking feet anymore!"

"Here's the tip Kairi. Think of the thing you cherish most!" Sora closed his eyes and swam like a professional.

"Wow Sora, you're actually good at something…" Kairi sighed in surrender that he was actually better at something.

"I'm hungry for pie…"

"Pie…PIE? YUFFIE IS IN DANGER!"

"Did I say pie? I'm sorry, I meant ravioli…" Kairi smacked herself in the forehead and thought of her nano, which she left in the gummi ship, and swam as good as Sora.

"Let's go, Sora!" The two swam together and found Yuffie, smacking something small and red.

"YOU FREAKY PERVERTED CRAB! FREAKY! FREAKY! FREAKY! FREAK FEST!" Yuffie continuously smacked the small red object…wait, it was Sebastian the crab, one of Ariel's friends.

"Hey, it's only Sebastian!" Goofy pointed out. Yuffie stopped smacking and stared at a bruised purple-red crab.

"Whoops, you were only greeting us I bet!" Yuffie dropped the crab into the sand, not even realizing she did.

"Whoa, Yuffie you're a mermaid too!" Sora saw Yuffie with a green fin and a yellow bikini top with a yellow sea flower in her hair.

"Yeah! Unfortunately, I have no trusty shuriken!"

"Don't worry, I have peaches!" Sora grabbed a rock out of no where, thinking it was a juicy peach.

"Shut up, you moron." Yuffie sighed.

"Sora, is that you?" A familiar voice appeared out of nowhere.

"Who are you? Don't steal my rubber ducky!"

"It's…me Ariel…duh…"

"ARIEL! HOW ARE YOU? HOW'S PRETTY BOY? IS HE A MEMBER IN N'SYNC? I LIKE APPLES! WHAT'S YOUR AUNT'S NAME? HOW'S T-KING? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? DO YOU LIKE SCALLOPS? OH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU ARE A SEA FISHY THING AND I AM NOT ALLOWED TO SAY FISH FOOD BECAUSE IT'S BAD IN THE OCEAN TO SAY THINGS LIKE THAT! WIND IT UP! DO YOU HAVE A BOX? I LIKE SEA OTTERS! THEY FUNNY TO ME! DO YOU—"

"Um…how are you today, Sora?"

"Should I do it now?" Kairi grumbled.

"Yes, now's the time!" Ariel pointed to Yuffie and Kairi with giant carrot sticks.

"Are we going to play a game? I love—"BONK! "Games…" Sora passed out and landed into the sand…

--------------+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"You're awake, finally!" It was Tifa. She had a black fin with a white bikini top and didn't have anything in her hair. There was also Cloud, Leon, Donald, Aerith, Riku, and Goofy too! Chip and Dale were probably watching the gummi ship.

"C is for cookie, that's good enough for me!"

"O…K…King Triton wants to see you…"

"You mean T-King?"

"Uh…I guess you can call him that…"

"Sora, let's go!" It was Kairi. She must've been sent for King Triton/ T-King too. Sora and Kairi swam to the main room with barely anything in it and opened the big coral doors. They were surprised to see Riku with a bunch of lettuce in his mouth.

"I give in! I'll sing it, I'm telling the truth that Sora and his friends are here!

_**To the left to the left**_

_**To the left to the left**_

_**To the left to the left**_

_**To the left to the left**_

**_You're irreplaceable!"_**

"Good enough…eh?" King Triton looked to see Kairi and Sora staring at him.

"You like Beyonce too?" Sora asked.

"Uh…never mind that, I'm glad you came here…early…"

"No…problem…" Kairi sighed.

"Come…" T-King ordered. The three swam to T-King as he sat in his coral throne. He cleared his throat.

"Sora, you came with your found friends. That makes me truly happy…" Sora smiled at himself, approved, but not knowing what he did to make T-King happy.

"So, we have a special celebration tonight. It's a celebration called the shichi Go San Matsuri day…"

"The monchichi what day?" Sora asked.

"The Shichi Go San Matsuri day, dumb one." Riku replied.

"Wait a second, just you are celebrating it?" Kairi asked.

"Well, you see…I kept my youngest child hidden…because, people would think I'm a—"

"Don't say it in front of younger readers…" Riku sighed, bored obviously.

"Right…thank you for reminding me Riku, but anyway…my youngest daughter, who is five years old, is named Eva, and she must have a celebration for it on this grateful day. So, guards, bring out Eva…" the guards entered a small aquamarine colored mermaid. (**A/N **if you are fans of mermaid melody Pichi Pichi pitch, this character Eva is like a five-year old Hanon!)

"AWWWWWW, SHE'S SO CUTE!!!" Sora swam over to give the little girl a hug, but she pulled out a squirt gun.

"Freeze, intruder!"

"AWWW, SHE EVEN PLAYS GANGSTER WITH HER DADDY! HOW SWEET! GIVE UNCLE SORA A BIG OLD BEAR HUG!"

"I warned you once, I'm not warning you again! Take this, intruder boy!" Eva shot the gun, tomato soup coming out of it, and it landed in Sora's eyes.

"GAAAAH…! I'VE BEEN BLINDED BY BLOOD!"

"It's only tomato soup, fool…" Riku said, trying his best not to laugh out loud, but looking at T-King's stern face, he was trying hard to look bored.

"Eva! How many times have I told you to stop shooting people in the eyes with tomato soup?"

"Dad, I told you many times before, I hate being called Eva. My name is Starry…"

"Starry sounds like a constellation, and your mother's middle name was EVA!"

"Hey, no yelling on my special day, since I'm the only one who is either three five or seven years old in Atlantica. Remember the deal last night; if you argue with me, you owe me two sand dollars." Starry sighed. She saw away and out of the coral front doors.

"She acts more like a pre teenager than a five-year old." T-king rubbed his temples, reaching through his wallet to find two sand dollars.

"Daughters are like that…" Kairi sighed, remembering her good old days when she was five. Karate chopping meanies…those days were awesome…

"I suppose you're right…"

"Hey, what's your favorite food?" Sora asked dumbly.

"Shut up, Sora…" He groaned sternly.

"SIR, YES SIR!"

-----------------------------------------++++++++++++++++++++++

7:30 P.M

"Well, Sebastian covered after a long surgery…we'll still have the party and he'll still conduct the bands…" Ariel sighed in relief after the hospital visit.

"So what's at this Atlantica version of Shichi Go San day?" Aerith asked politely.

"Do you care about manners so much?" Tifa nudged Aerith.

"I'm only making new friends…"

"But everything is so goody-goody with you…"

"And that's supposed to mean what?"

"Nothing in particular…heh heh…" Tifa scooted away from the ticked Aerith and swam to the bar.

"Ariel, the talent show stage is ready!" Flounder came up from behind Aerith and Tifa.

"Gah, talking fish!" Tifa slapped Flounder, who had a dumb smile on his face.

"I think you threw off my zit!"

"Ewwwwwww! Where is it?! Where is it?! Where is it?!" Aerith squealed.

"**Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Shichi Go San Matsuri Day! Celebrating Eva Triton's shrine wish! King Triton will wish for health and prosperity, but what will Eva wish? It's her wish, and it'll be granted since she's the youngest in the kingdom of Atlantica!" **A squid announcer said brightly into a microphone on the talent show stage. He swam off, presenting a punk rock merman band. The mermaids squealed in "OMG!!" languages.

"Yum, calamari…" Yuffie giggled. The squid cringed back and swam off to the men's restrooms (**A/N **I seriously have no idea how mermaids or fish go to the bathroom…so don't ask me…)

"You scared him, nice work." Leon high-fived Yuffie and they swam off to the all-you-can-eat buffet. An octopus, in replace of the terrified pale squid, took place at the microphone.

"It's time; 8:00 P.M is finally here! Bring out Eva Triton!" The crowd cheered and chanted Eva's name. Eva swam out and stood in front of the shrine. She put in her coins and shook the bell. She clasped her hand together…

"_Top five wishes_

_Father to control temper_

_Ariel to get a hairstylist_

_Awesome cosmetics and accessories just for me!_

_A hot and sexy bishounen!_

_A real life"_

Starry/Eva removed her hands and went up to the microphone.

"Leave people…Sora and Kairi, announce your big news already so I can go home and play video games…"

"Wait a second, how did she know?" Kairi looked shocked, but Sora smiled, not moving his mouth because of peanut butter…

_**To be continued…**_

That may not be my best chapter, but review anyway!


	10. Like father like daughter?

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 10- Like father like daughter?**

"How did you know that?" Kairi questioned, still shocked.

"MWAYBEE ZHEE FWOUND WOUT ABWOUT…WWAIT! KAIRI, YOU'RE GWETTING MWARRIED! WHO'S THE WUCKY GWUY?" Sora had peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth.

"Sora, you idiot! You and Kairi are!" Cloud shouted from the buffet.

"We are…when did this happen?" Sora scratched his head, unsure of marriage.

"Okay, you told everyone to leave…even though you want everyone to hear the big announcement…" Yuffie sighed at Starry.

"Well, tell everyone first then leave so I can play my new video games! By the way, I just overheard you guys talking about it…well, Tifa and Cloud were…" Starry replied, realizing that she said something stupid.

"O…kay…" Aerith sighed. She took Kairi up on the stage and Donald swam Sora up on the talent show stage.

"Um…okay…sorry this is all so sudden, but we wanted it to be a surprise! Me and Sora are getting married…" Kairi spoke in the mike, slightly stage frightened.

People just stared at the couple and sea crickets chirped loudly.

"Uh…that's wonderful…" Ariel spoke softly.

"There, now leave everybody!" Starry tucked back her aqua blue hair behind her ears.

"Eva, how dare you order people to leave for electronic things!" T-king glared at his daughter from his coral throne.

"They're called video games, father. Just let me enjoy my special day getting high scores and beating up adversaries." Starry swam off the stage, but the octopus caught her arm.

"You're making this chapter a drama!" The octopus said sternly. Everyone stared at pandagirl-sama, doing her writing, and they shot her angry looks.

"Hey, it's called 'twists in the story!'!!" I said, closing the writing room door, actually slamming it…

"Eva, you are punished for not obeying me! You are going to stay here and dance with a merman!" T-king set Starry up with a merman with buckteeth.

"Redneck mermen, I don't think so…" Starry pushed away the merman, still struck by love, and pouted.

"Star—Eva! You are testing my temper, and you are not going to test it anymore!"

"Are you certain of that?"

"Your mother would be very disappointed in you!"

"In you too, since you listen to Beyonce and Faith Hill while watching Desperate Housewives when no one's looking…"

"That's a completely different story though!"

"So, it is true after all…must e-mail my friends…" Starry snickered.

"Eva Triton, your punishment is now even worse! You are going to slow dance this whole time, and when you get home, no TV or video games or internet! You will write 100 times what you did wrong! Are we understood?" T-King swam up to Starry and grabbed her wrist, but she looked like she was bored and didn't give a crap.

"You don't understand my life! It's your fault I exist!" Starry yelled back.

"T-KING, YOU—"Leon began, Tifa and Flounder covered up his mouth.

"Eva, how do you know about the process of how life began!?" T-King looked even angrier than ever.

"It's simple…you see---"Starry explained the whole 'process' to her elderly father as a violin played in the back, adding an educational touch.

"EVA TRITON, YOU ARE GOING TO SIT WITH ME FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY!!"

"Do you expect me to do that? I didn't do anything wrong…" Starry sighed.

"YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER!"

"And you're my father who doesn't understand that he's ruining my life!" Starry swam to her room and slammed the door, causing a piece of the ceiling to break. It landed on Sora's head.

"Uhhh…I like shoes…" Sora said, rubbing his hurt head.

"Pandagirl-sama…! You made things so dramatic again!" Yuffie entered where I was writing.

"Wait, spare me Yuffie!" Yuffie grabbed me and threw me out of the oceanic world, landing me in the 100 acre wood book. I landed in Rabbit's wheel barrow, noticing there was paper in it. I looked at a sheet and saw Tifa as a model in a white swim suit.

"I-it's not how it looks!" Rabbit came up. I sighed and whistled for my clone to appear in Atlantica. The clone kept writing this strange chapter while I recovered my sore, red butt from landing in the rusty, Tifa-imaged wheel barrow.

BACK TO ATLANTICA!

Aerith, Goofy, Ariel, and Kairi swam up to Starry's room, where she just sighed in the corner of her closet.

"Eva…where are you?" Ariel opened the door.

"I'm not here…" Starry mumbled. Aerith opened the closet and Goofy helped Starry get out of a loose moogle sweater.

"Of course you are…" Ariel smiled, hugging her younger sibling.

"Don't you get jokes, sis?" Starry sighed. "And I prefer to be called Starry, not Eva…"

"But, Eva was—"

"I know, okay? I got the message in the bottle!"

"MESSAGE IN THE BOTTLE! I LIKE RAISIN BRAN!" They heard Sora sing from the dancing room.

"You were saying?" Aerith sighed.

"The reason I get angry with dad so much is my real name. Mom died because of me, don't you know that? When I popped out of her, she died. Dad wanted to name me a nicer name. Like Sylvia, or Claudia, but Eva was mom's middle name…and everyone called her Eva because her real name was too hard to say…and it feels like everyone seems to think I killed her and dad just named me Mom's name so everyone can get mad at me…"

"I THINK I'M GONNA DIE CRYING!" Sora wept, now in the bedroom, and blew on his moogle hanky.

"How about this! You can be our flower girl!" Kairi put a random light bulb above her red-head.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Starry pouted.

"Then people will recognize you as the famous flower girl! Sora became famous because he has the power of the keyblade! Imagine yourself at his wedding!"

Kairi put a hand on Starry's bare shoulder. Starry looked at her fingers and smiled.

"I'd like that…" She softly said.

"Okay!"

"But as long as you can keep a secret…"

"A secret?"

"Actually two secrets, but you better not tell the first one or I'll shoot you in the eyes with minestrone…"

"What's the difference of pain between tomato soup and minestrone?" Aerith questioned, confused.

"I know the difference…" Sora turned pale. Everyone stared at him.

"The tomato stings your pupils…but minestrone…minestrone stings both of your eyes completely and you are constipated for a whole month…it's not pretty…I did it when I was playing hide and go seek with Riku…"

"When…? When you were a little boy?" Goofy said.

"Last year…a few weeks before all the heartless came to Destiny Islands…"

"And you're not joking, either?" Starry held in laughter.

"I'm dead serious…but Riku kept giving himself away by saying 'We're too old to play this game!' tee hee! That's funny of him!"

"O…kay then…so, what are the secrets?" Kairi asked, getting back on track with the main subject.

"Okay…this is the first time I've ever told a person…but…I'm not five years old…I'm really ten…I'm just 'underdeveloped'…"

"So…this whole Shichi Go San Matsuri day…it's really for nothing?"

"No one knows me…like I said to you guys before, everyone just thinks I killed mom…"

"Even the clone of pandagirl-sama makes such dramatic words appear!" Goofy sniffled, grabbing a tissue box.

"No, actually it's not my clone, it is me again!" Pandagirl-sama appeared from the writing room, her clone eating a salad.

"When did you come back?" Ariel asked.

"About when Sora was talking about the difference between minestrone soup's pain and tomato soup's pain…got it memorized?" Pandagirl-sama said, not noticing Axel's ghost was behind her.

"Idiot, you stole my line! You're going to be haunted by me! Got it memorized?" Axel disappeared, making a mark of a flame and a bunny appear on my left shoulder.

"O…kay then…" I went in my writing room and continued…

"So…should you apologize to T-King now?" Sora asked.

"No…he still wouldn't understand my love to the Nintendo Wii…"

"Yeah…even though SOMEONE was supposed to give me a Wii!" Aerith glared at Cloud behind her, exploring the coral mansion.

"Do you mean me?"

"No, I mean the chandelier above your mindless head!"

"Yes ma'am…" Cloud swam downstairs, avoiding his ticked girlfriend.

"Come on, King Triton will understand how you feel about your name…" Kairi grabbed Starry's hand, but she realized she was pulling a straw dummy.

Starry swam out of the room and swam quickly into the hallway.

"Starry, where are you going…? I THOUGHT WE WERE COOL WITH THIS!!!" Kairi screamed on top of her lungs.

"I know you'll tell the secret, so I'm avoiding you forever! Until I become a celebrity flower girl!" Starry swam downstairs and out of the palace.

"She only going to find lasagna…" Sora licked his lips in the thought of sauce filled lasagna.

"Sora, stop thinking about food!" Ariel smacked the idiotic keyblade wielder.

"This is a hunt for the shooting star!" Goofy said.

"That sounds so retarded!" Pandagirl-sama deleted the eight words Goofy said and replaced them.

"My butt hurts like cheese cake!"

"HAHA LOL!" Pandagirl-sama laughed, but the curse of Axel shut her up by knocking her and her clone out, ending this pointless chapter…

_**To be continued in chapter 11!!!**_

_**Next time: It's a hunt for Starry in the whole ocean! But what happens when Sora finds his true weakness? Lettuce wraps? And T-King assigned Starry another punishment, singing a song in front of everyone! And what is the second secret? Will pandagirl-sama ever stop writing a drama story in a humorous story? (I snicker)**_

_**Find out next time on Crazy Wedding!!**_


	11. Catch that Starry!

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 11- Catch that Starry!**

Kairi, Goofy, Ariel, Aerith, and a clumsy Sora swam downstairs in the main hall. Starry swam off, out of the palace and into the deep blue sea.

"She's so dead once she comes back!" Kairi growled.

"Where's Eva?" T-King came up.

"Oh…Eva…heh…heh…" Ariel and Aerith both said, sweatdropping.

"Well…? She should apologize to her elders, now?"

"You see…heh…heh…"

"It's personal…" Sora blurted out.

"Hey, this story is rated K+!" Goofy warned Sora.

"Her feet are dry…"

"And…that's personal…we thought you meant…something else…" Aerith sighed in relief.

"Well…that's all right then…hey! Wait a minute! We don't use lotion in Atlantica! It just gets all soggy!" T-king turned around with his trusty trident.

"Are you going to kill us?" Sora wept.

"Yes, I'm going to kill you…OF COURSE NOT YOU NINNY! TELL ME WHERE EVA IS!"

"She doesn't like to be called Eva!" Kairi blurted out.

"Why not?"

"She thinks…she thinks everyone thinks that she killed your wife…you know, her mom…and you just named her Eva because you want to humiliate her life…" Goofy said. T-King lowered his triton and sighed deeply.

"I knew it…"

"SO MUCH DRAMA AGAIN! STOP IT PANDAGIRL-SAMA!" Everyone turned to my writing room and I stared at them.

"Don't make me frustrated. I have a stupid curse mark on my left shoulder, my butt's still sore from that dumb wheel barrow, I had potty problems by eating stale chili dogs, and I wore my underwear the wrong way. The front is where my butt is and I have a major wedgie!" (**A/n **not true…but sometimes it happens…)

"We didn't need to know that…" Riku swam up with everyone else who pigged out at the buffet.

"So, she ran…er, swam away because she is mad at me for naming her Eva?" T-King said, saddened.

"Don't cry! Even though I ran out of Kleenex…" Sora sighed.

"You carry around Kleenex?" Tifa asked Sora.

"What do smart people do?"

"I wouldn't exactly call you 'smart' though…" Tifa replied.

"I am smart, just you wait and see!"

"Here's a simple one…what's your favorite color?"

"Oh…favorite color…that's nothing…heh…heh…um…let me think about it…" Sora got a notepad out of no where and began jotting down some notes.

"Negative 6 plus seventeen divided by the square root of eighty-four minus fourteen multiplied by nine hundred and thirty-two equals…here you go Cloud."

Sora handed Cloud a paper with Cloud with a badly drawn sword beating up a block of ice with x eyes on it, an arrow pointing to it that said "Sephiroth", only the p and the h were backwards.

"Um…your drawings are sucky…but nice concept…"

"Guys, we need to get that Starry!" Kairi shouted in Cloud's ear. Cloud cleared his ear and joined everyone making plans.

"Aerith, Goofy, and Ariel stay here and calm T-King, since you guys are weird and calmer, Tifa, Riku, Sora, Kairi, Leon, Cloud, Donald, and I will all go find Starry!" Yuffie said.

"Oh, and we're calmer?" Aerith crossed her arms over her chest.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ariel also crossed her arms angrily.

"Well…you guys aren't the fighting type…" Tifa sighed.

"What about me, Sora I fought with you!" Goofy yelled at the dumb groom.

"You don't have to yell at me, Goofy!" Sora wept.

"I'm not always calm!" Aerith screamed. Cloud laughed as he drew a picture of a spirit Aerith, since she died in FFVII…

"Cloud, put that stupid notepad away!"

"I may be seventeen, but that just defeats people by my beauty!" Ariel yelled.

"No one does that anymore!" Leon argued back.

"Well, I do Mr. I-love-Rinoa!"

"How the heck do you know Rinoa-chan?"

"She was Eric's date in high school!"

"RINOA, YOU FOOLISH GIRL!" Leon yelled at the ceiling, causing another ceiling tile to fall upon the brainless mind of Sora.

"Put that idiotic notepad away already!" Aerith reached out for Cloud's notepad, which was drawing a picture of Sephiroth getting run over by Cloud on his motorcycle drinking a juice box…

"They're idiots…" Riku sighed and sweatdropped. Starry appeared out of no where.

"I'll say…"

"Hey, Starry you're back!" Kairi exclaimed.

"Uh…yeah...! I have been!"

"When…since what line?" Riku asked.

"When Tifa was asking if Sora was serious about carrying around tissues…"

"That…was a very long time ago…"

"Hey, everyone, Starry is back!" Kairi shouted happily to the fighting blob. Sora just stood there laughing at Cloud's scribbles.

"SILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCEEEEEEEEE!" T-King shouted, raising his trident in the H2O (it's kind of weird to say air when they're in water…)

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at another mad face of T-King.

"Eva…you came back…"

"I thought I was tough enough like a sumo wrestler once I realized I can handle you!"

"Um…yes…" T-King sweatdropped…

"Look dad…"

"Aw, she's calling him dad! This should be good!" Sora grabbed his trusty Kleenex pack.

"Look…father…"

"GREAT, YOU JUST RUINED THE MOMENT!"

"Can someone please not think about tissue packages and let me talk to my father!"

"Sorry…"

"Well then…look older living member of the family…I'm sorry…I just didn't want you to know my secret about myself being ten instead of five…"

"Whoa, that stinks for her…a celebration for nothing…" Yuffie whispered to Ariel, who nodded slightly.

"Shut up, you are giving me pressure!"

"Why does pandagirl-sama have to include dramatic scenes and so many interruptions?" Cloud wondered.

"Uh…I dunno…" Kairi replied.

"IT'S CALLED A STORY HERE! CLOUD, IT'S EITHER YOU SHUT UP WITH THE WHY IS THIS AND WHY IS THAT OR YOU'RE GOING BACK TO NOT TALKING AND JUST HAVING SUBTITLES!" Pandagirl-sama said angrily, preparing her clone just in case Axel's clone came.

"Eva…I will call you Starry from now on…" T-King said, hugging his daughter.

"Wait…you aren't going to punish me for faking my age?"

"I get angry all of the time…and people expect it easily. This time, I'll make an exception. I can be a lovable guy!"

"With a six-pack…" Leon chuckled.

-------++++++++++++++++++

The party ended, without Sebastian who was still in a hospital bed, and all the party materials were packing up.

"We have to go and invite more people…" Kairi bowed.

"Thanks for all your help…" Aerith also bowed down.

"There's your politeness again…" Tifa rolled her eyes.

"Tifa, do you want to get hurt?"

"You can try to hurt me…since you're so calm…"

"Sora, everyone else!" Chip and Dale swam to the large gang.

"What is it?" Riku asked.

"We can't hold that many people anymore!" Dale replied.

"We have to subtract one person to stay here!" Chip exclaimed.

"I'll stay…I love having eight tentacles…it makes me eight times stronger so I can kill eight annoying people at once!" Donald said happily.

"Okay…and once everyone's invited, Cid, if he's still alive, will make more gummi ships for everyone to come back to our home, Destiny Islands!" Kairi said happily. So, everyone said a farewell or twenty, by Aerith mostly, and left Donald behind while everyone went inside the gummi ship, having normal feet.

"Awww, I miss being a merman already!" Cloud sighed sadly.

"I can't see Kairi half-nude anymore!" Sora also sighed sadly. Kairi slapped Sora many times and the ship went off.

_**To be continued in chapter 12!!**_

_**Next time: Which world is next of these three?**_

_**Port Royal**_

_**Halloween Town**_

_**Or Olympus?**_

_**You vote when you review! Then, maybe you'll imagination will come 2 life!!!! That sounded cheesy…Review if you liked it! Tchao!!!**_


	12. Pirates and a blueprint!

**Crazy Wedding **

**Chapter 12- Pirates and a blueprint!**

The gummi ship flew smoothly this time and everyone felt their tummies moan. Well, Sora had sounds of a cow from his tummy.

"Moo, my tummy hungry! Kairi, make me some dinner! Lettuce Wraps please!"

"You already act like we're newly wed!" Kairi mumbled, taking off her nano ear plugs.

"What…newly wed?"

"Sora…" Kairi got out a paper fan.

"N-never mind…"

"Where to next?" Leon asked.

"There's Port Royal, Olympus, or Halloween Town?" Aerith pointed at the odd looking worlds.

"Which one?" Riku asked.

"The one with lettuce wraps! YUM!"

"Lettuce wraps don't exist in any of them…" Tifa said.

"Yes they do, if you just believe in them!"

"Crap, not all of this believing crap…" Cloud got out his notepad and started drawing Leon and Rinoa.

"Put that away Cloud!" Leon got his hand off of the steering wheel, again, and Yuffie took over.

"Eeenie…meenie…minie…mo…" Yuffie steered into their next world

(Votes are up, another new character added too, so, the winner is…)

The small going-to-be-built-soon town was almost completed. It was pretty hard to find bricks in a place like Port Royal. The workers pounded on their wood, also sneezing because of horse poop, and they worked for a long time.

"Jack Sparrow you idiot! Give it back, this is not funny!" A girl screamed. A random worker dude looked below him to see Jack Sparrow running with a box with a chibi elephant on it. Following the captain of the black pearl, was a girl named Hikari. She was new to town and was in charge of the building of the new smaller town in Port Royal. She was only twelve and took care of almost anything…except Jack.

"Give back my blueprint of the town! How the heck did you know where it was hiding?!" Hikari shouted. Jack stopped and turned around. Hikari's red small braids got in her face from the cold winds. He just looked at the box and opened it.

"Oh…I thought your mom's old jewelry was in there…"

"YOU IMBECILE, MY MOM NEVER WORE JEWELRY!!"

"You mean…not ever?"

"No, not ever! Return Chibi the Elephant now!"

"But, this is a fine made jewelry box."

"Her grandmother, who was rich, gave it to her for her sixth birthday, smart one!"

"Well, excuse me—"

"JACK!!! HEY DUDE! WHAT'S UP MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!" Sora glomped on Jack, making him throw the box into the air, Hikari catching it.

"Thank you, retarded person I don't know…" Hikari thanked Sora.

"Don't mention it, midget!"

"Sora, what are you doing here?"

"I don't know."

"You have no certain clue why you're here…that's interesting." Jack rolled his eyes.

"Can you please hand it over already!?" Hikari ran over to Jack, still holding the box. He just dodged her dive and saw her fall on the dirty ground.

"You're clumsy for a leader…" Jack ran off and jumped onto his beloved ship.

"Where are we?" Yuffie stood up from a bunch of cloth.

"I'm not quite sure…" Aerith replied. The two girls then noticed that they were on the black pearl, Jack Sparrow steering it, and they screamed.

"Great, the girls are captured…by accident…" Leon ran over, seeing Aerith and Yuffie scream like idiots.

"They better have lettuce wraps!" Sora ran over, meeting with the rest of the gang.

"Shut up Sora…" Everyone said.

"We've got to save them! We can be the Port Royal crime scene investigators!" Kairi said, thinking of her favorite TV show come to life in Port Royal. Everyone shook their heads in disagreement.

"But, why not?" Kairi asked angrily.

"So two months ago…" Tifa said. Kairi pouted and sighed loudly.

"Maybe the Port Royal Rangers! Go! Go! Power Rangers!" Sora said with his own PR head set.

"Oh please, you watch too many rip-off kids' shows…" Cloud mumbled.

"What about the Port Royal Files? You know, X-files…that show rocks. Why the heck was it canceled? It was awesome and spooky!" Leon said.

"So 1996…" Everyone said.

"I at least tried to think up of something!"

"It was only an attempt!" Tifa said.

"Who cares about a name for our group, we must get Aerith and Yuffie and bring them back here!" Riku said. Everyone stared at him, now remembering what they were really doing.

"Shoot…the boat's gone…" Cloud looked behind to see a small spec, hearing the girl's screaming.

"There are no other fast ships around Port Royal anymore!" Everyone turned around to see Hikari.

"Who are you, and why are their new characters that look like they were drawn by manga females CLAMP! I love their concept of Tokyo Babylon!" Tifa said.

"O…K…so, how do you expect to reach Jack Sparrow in the nick of time?" Hikari folded her arms.

"My mother will send us my ducky float!" Sora said, raising his hand as if he were in school.

"Nice attempt…" Everybody around Sora said.

"Look, the only way is to get there by…"

"_I'm on tonight, you know my hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel its right…"_

"Are you sure the karaoke row boat is the only boat left available in Port Royal?" Leon said annoyed by the Shakira song. The old lady singing it really sucked at it and was very pitchy. Simon Cowell came up.

"Dreadful…" Was all he said and he left.

"Was that Simon Cowell?" Goofy asked.

"Is that the same stupid notepad?" Leon saw Cloud flipping through already drawn pages.

"Is that what chibi Rinoa looks like?" Cloud asked, pointing to a picture.

"Was that a fart sound I just heard?" Tifa asked.

"Is that the Black Pearl?" Kairi asked.

"I like sheep…" Sora said.

"You were supposed to ask a question Sora! You broke the chain!" Cloud wept.

"Kairi was right, that's the Black Pearl!" Hikari said, standing up and pointing to the Black Pearl.

"Let's go!" Sora stood up and ran to the front of the row boat.

"Hey, sonny boy, don't rock the boat…that brings up a song!

_Rock the boat!_

_Don't rock the boat baby!_

_Rock the boat!"_

"Shut up—"Leon stood up as well, trying to cover the old woman's mouth with duct tape, when the boat tipped over and everyone fell out. Everyone's head rose up and the old lady swam away.

"IIIIIIIIIIII TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK TTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAATT!"

Were her last words before she swam off into the misty distance

"Wow; that was weird." Kairi said.

"Let's hurry; I must punish Jack Sparrow for doing what he has done in the past! He tried to steal my acorn collection, coin collection, dream house sketch, MC Hammer CD, and bead collection! Now, he's pulling my death lever by trying to steal my village blueprint and chibi elephant box!" Hikari climbed up the ladder on the side of the boat.

"Wow, touching…" Leon said.

"Agreed!" Sora grabbed soggy tissues from his pocket.

"I was being sarcastic!"

"MC HAMMER? _Can't touch this! Can't touch this! Stop! Hammer Time!" _The old lady said from the misty distance.

"Shut up, we're trying to save friends here!"

"We are…" Sora stared at Leon.

"YES! THAT WAS THE WHOLE REASON OF BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!"

"Leon…" Tifa said.

"I CAN'T GO ON! A SHARK WILL PROBABLY GET US NOW AND!!!!"

"Leon…" Riku said.

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN BECAUSE OF THAT SINGING CRAZY LADY!"

"Um…Leon…we're on the boat…" Hikari said. A fly went past Leon's face as he looked around the sight of the Black Pearl.

"Um…where are Aerith and Yuffie?" Cloud asked.

"I knew the ducky float would've helped much better!" Sora exclaimed.

"With shutting your mouth, yes." Riku said.

"Hey, Kairi, remember the time you ran up and hugged me?" Sora asked Kairi.

"What about it?"

"…heh…I thought it was funny…and I cried because Riku got a major tan and turned albino-er!"

"Stop blabbing about this junk and get off of my ship." A gun shot was fired and Hikari dodged it.

"Sparrow! Where are Yuffie and Aerith?" Hikari ran up, trying to find the captain.

"Who…?"

"You know who I'm talking about! Don't act dumb!"

"Um…knock…knock?"

"What, there are no jokes!"

"OOH! WHO'S THERE?" Sora jumped up happily over Hikari.

"The person who is going to find the mysterious treasure!" Jack Sparrow leaped off of the lookout and took the elephant box out of his secret hiding place.

"My blueprint!" Hikari said.

"It's either I have the blueprint or one of your friends gets hurt…" Sparrow accidentally triggered his pistol and it shot.

"Oops…" Sora fell to the ground, clenching his chest.

"SORA!!!!" Kairi ran over to Sora, lying on the ground, a puddle of blood underneath his back and on the wooden planks of the Black Pearl…

**To be Con— JUST KIDDING!!**

"Fooled you Kairi! You started to cry!" Sora laughed, holding three packs of ketchup. He stopped laughing when Kairi hugged him.

"Sora, if we're getting married…you have to quit fooling around to scare me like that! I…don't want to think you really got shot in the chest!"

"Kairi…you little huggy bear!" Sora hugged Kairi tighter. Everyone stared at them. Kairi evil-y glared and pushed him and grabbed a paper fan and smacked Sora.

"Revenge is a bad taste, isn't it?"

"But it didn't taste like anything…but it hurt!!!" Sora began to cry.

"Guys, Sparrow is gone!" Everyone turned around to see nothing but a note.

_You think you could have this treasury back in your grasp?_

_I really don't think so…_

_You're friends are hiding somewhere…but, you'll have to take a test first…_

**NOW it's to be continued in chapter 13!**

**SEE YOU AND REVIEW IF YOU LIKED IT! NO FLAMES ALLOWED!**


	13. A test?

**Crazy Wedding**

**Chapter 13- A test…?**

"A test, you mean like pencil and paper and old lady teachers hitting you on the butt with a meter stick?" Sora cringed back behind a barrel full of sugar.

"Hey, Sugar!"

"Don't even think about it!" Riku dragged Sora back to the gang.

"But…sugar!"

"No buts, smart one!"

"There's something on the back of the note." Tifa flipped over the note from Jack Sparrow which Hikari was holding.

_However, I will give you clues to finding letters giving you a hint where your friends are hiding._

_I'll give you the first letter to start out with. _

_R_

_The clue for the second letter is:_

_**The center of the ocean, a moss-covered rock, search for the beast that lingers here and the first letter of its name is your clue**_

"He's a good poet." Sora said.

"This isn't poetry, stupid!" Kairi hit him with her paper fan once more, no hesitation whatsoever.

"No more fighting, we must find the lingering beast!" Hikari took the wheel of the Black Pearl and they took off.

"What's down here?" Sora opened a door to find steps and a small room.

"I remember down there!" Goofy pointed out.

"Goofy…what is that on your head? Is it a shrunken hat or a green chili pepper?" Sora asked as he walked downstairs in the large room.

"Shut up, Sora." Goofy pouted.

Sora looked around the room…heaven…barrels of sugar, California Rolls, potatoes…and lettuce…with twenty barrels of sweetening sauce and chicken…

"KAIRI, GOD HAS BLESSED US!"

"What, what is it?" Kairi was thinking of a gown, a beautiful gown for her upcoming wedding day. But, she only found Sora splitting chopsticks and taking a California Roll and popping it in his mouth, feeling the veggies, rice, seaweed, and crab melt into his mouth. He put the chopsticks in his hair like how a girl would make an accessory. Kairi sighed but took a potato and bit into it.

"Isn't this great, Kairi?" Sora was crying in happiness as he opened the lid of lettuce and two barrels of the chicken and sweetening sauce. He took a big slice of lettuce, a big glob of chicken and sweetening sauce, and was a centimeter close to his dream food until…

"What was that?! Sora, get up on the deck, pronto! I think we found the beast!" Leon shouted from the deck. Kairi slapped the juicy lettuce wrap out of Sora's hand and dragged him to the deck of the ship.

"KAIRI, YOU MURDERED IT!" Sora saw the lettuce wrap wide open as the chicken was out all over the floor and the once pleasant sweetening sauce sucked into the wooden planks on the floor.

"Sora, you can make another one after we beat this thing!" Kairi exclaimed, preparing her beloved paper fan once more. Sora just looked back at his beloved favorite food and went upstairs to face the beast…

**To be continued in chapter 14…**

**Sorry da chapter was shorter than usual -.-**

**But review if you liked it!**

**(Try to guess where Aerith and Yuffie are, too! If you think you know something that begins with R)**

**BYE!**


	14. The beast!

**Before we start: I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN, LIKE, FOREVER! OMG, FORGIVE A POOR OLD GIRL LIKE ME!!!**

**So, I will repay you all by typing all of my friends who love the story! Tee hee!**

**AngstyLuvur**

**SailorKairi91**

**Shire Folk**

**TheDarkside901**

**Miss.EcoFreak AKA Usagi-Zakura**

**pyro-freak-444 (anonymous)**

**And myself (da Panda!)**

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing, here's your prize! Chappy 14!**

**Crazy Wedding**

**By: da Panda**

**Chapter 14- The beast!!**

Kairi and Sora caught up with the gang. The ship shook once more (Sora screamed like a girl) and everyone fell on the ground.

"Whatever this thing is, it sure is strong!" Cloud said.

"Like my auntie! She has a mustache!" Sora said.

"Like we care, Sora!" Riku said impatiently.

"I just felt like saying what I wanted to say!"

"And it really made things better…you might as well stick that lettuce wrap up your butt and shut up while we beat this thing!"

"Not up my butt, thank you! In my mouth!" Sora said. It was quiet until Sora spoke up…again…

"Oh, no he didn't!" Sora said in a gangsta way.

"Shut up, Sora!" Kairi smacked Sora and he shut up.

"Man, Kairi, why didn't you do that before?" Leon asked.

"Cuz no one told me to."

"Hey, Kairi hit him again!" Riku said laughing. Sora gave him a puppy dog look…or at least attempted to, until the ship shook more violently this time.

AND OUT POPPED…! A chipmunk…

"Hey, it's a chipmunk! Hi, Alvin! Where are your brothers from other mothers?" Sora said as he looked overboard to find the chipmunk on a silver raft. But, the chipmunk looked startled and swam away.

"Haha, even the gullible Sora scares a chipmunk away." Riku said.

"Um, Riku, I'd stop laughing if I were you…" Kairi said as a huge shadow appeared over the boat.

"Hm, why is that?"

"Cuz, I don't think the chipmunk was the beast…and I also know what it **did **run away from…" Kairi said with a frightened look on her face.

"Huh?" Riku still looked confused.

"Look…there…" Kairi pointed at the large shadow being cast upon the ship. It was a giant octopus, and boy did it look hungry.

"Aww, it's a squirrel!" Sora said.

"Idiot, it's an octopus!" Cloud said.

"I was close enough, though!"

"Nope, you weren't…but never mind that, we have to run away!" Leon said. Everyone stared at him confused.

"How come, we need to beat it, don't we?" Kairi asked.

"We already know the letter, it's **O**!" Leon said. But, then, Riku noticed something strange.

"Hold on a minute, where are Tifa and Hikari?"

"Hey, you're right; they're not anywhere to be found." Kairi said.

"Looking for these two?" A familiar voice appeared. Everyone looked above them, finding Hikari and Tifa tied up on the flag pole, Goofy trying to reach them. And there was Jack Sparrow.

"It's Batman!" Sora said clumsily.

"Jack Sparrow, brainless nymph…" Leon sighed.

"I think you better rethink your strategies, young gentlemen and lady, or these two, and the other two, young ladies will be mine. Defeat this creature and you'll have at least these two returned. If you fail to defeat the octopus and the ship is sunken, I'll take that last young lady there." Sparrow said with an evil smile. Everyone turned to Kairi.

"Oh, no! Not Kairi!" Sora shouted.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

**Yes, I'm sorry, but this chappy was pretty short as well -.-**

**But, they will try to defeat the giant octopus and find the other letters to finding Yuffie and Aerith (Or maybe Hikari and Tifa and Goofy, too!) And will Kairi be safe from being kidnapped by the pirate Captain Jack Sparrow, or will she not be immune? And will Sora get his love of his life and protect it? Besides Kairi, the lettuce wraps and the ingredients to add the flavor! Don't miss the next chapter filled with pirates, fish, rabid rodents, poets, food, stupidity, elephants, and wooden planks in the next chapter of Crazy Wedding! See you then!**

**- da Panda (Author)**


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